EmpowerMama

Am I doing it right? As a new mom we question whether we are doing the right things, we question our decisions and sometimes we question ourselves as a mom. Even though the transition from pregnancy to motherhood isn’t always easy it’s not impossible. Motherhood doesn’t have a manual, it doesn’t have a step by step guide on how too, and that’s okay. Motherhood shouldn’t be a manual, guide or step by step. Motherhood is a learn as you go kind of journey. If we all parented the same way no one would be different. I sure know that even though I’ve been around the block a few times I still face the unknowns in questioning everything I do. But the thing to understand is it’s never going to stop or change. The unknowns are all around us day by day. All we can do is educate, learn, and experience.  

20 week anatomy scan

20 week anatomy scan Today was our 20 week anatomy scan. Leading up to the scan I get such anxiety and always fear the worst. Part of this is because both my husband and I are adopted. We do not know anything biologically so anything is possible. But today everything check out and he’s perfect. He’s a little smaller but all my 6 kids were small so it’s not shocking that he’s on the small side. Our sweet boy wouldn’t uncross his feet the entire time and wasn’t shy showing off the goods. Even though we knew we were having a boy it was nice to get confirmation. Our boy is growing and doing great after a rough start to the pregnancy.  ————————————————  More updates to come as we get further into the pregnancy.

I used to be pretty!

I used to be pretty! Many of us have a hard time wrapping our heads around our new mom bod. Some go into a depression state because we can’t accept the new reality. I’ve been there with every pregnancy, birth and postpartum recovery. I still from this day do not look the way I did before I had babies. Society has told us that once your baby is born your body will bounce back. Sure, for some it does. But for many it doesn’t and for those who have multiples it definitely doesn’t. What you need to take in is that it doesn’t matter how you look after birth. Your body is forever changed because of one thing. Your body’s changed because you brought life into the world. Embrace the mom bod because you now have a story. For those with stretch marks don’t be shameful of them. Love them as they held your baby. You are stronger than you think! You are brave and blessed! You are powerful in your own way! Don’t allow anyone to shut that down. Embrace the new you!

Preparing for birth

Preparing for birth The journey is coming to an end and it’s time to prepare. As you sit scrolling on your phone all the things you need for birth you start to question what you truly need. Now you think you need it ALL!! I get it because I was there too. But I’m here to help you wrap your head around the overwhelming list of needs and wants. As a new mom you think you need everything, but the truth is you don’t. Much of what we think we need turns into wants. I’ve created a list of needs to help prepare you for birth. Many of the items are provided to you at the hospital or birthing center. These lists are based off of my personal experiences. Some might need more or less than others. But here are the things that worked for all 6 of my births.   Need:  - change of outfit (2)  - nursing essential  - going home outfit (mama & baby)  - baby outfit (2-4)  - car seat  - toiletries  - slippers/socks  - snacks  - charger  - Bag ...

6 and counting!

6 and counting! Back in the day large families were common. Many children were raised in big families. However, times changed and the thought of 5+ children seems less common than it once was. But why should it matter to anyone else how many children you are raising? Why should it matter how a family chooses to live? The simple answer is IT DOESNT MATTER. If you aren’t raising the children, if you aren’t in anyway affected by the number of children one has then it’s not your concern. I am a proud mom of 6 beautiful children under the age of 9. We chose to have a big family because both my husband and I are adopted. We wanted to create our own biological family to carry on our name for years to come. Just because we chose to have many doesn’t mean others need to as well. There are always two sides to every story. Don’t allow yourself to only see one side of things.

Is the epidural for me?

Is the epidural for me? While the epidural may not be for everyone it can be beneficial to others. Some may have trauma from an epidural complication and some may rave about an epidural. The thing to know is there is always a risk of something going wrong, but we can’t allow that to shut out the idea of getting one. The point of an epidural is to allow women to stay awake and feel the pressure of labor without the pain. When done correctly the benefits can give a great outcome. But with all medical interventions educate yourself to make sure it’s the right thing for you.

Pushed to breastfeed?

Pushed to breastfeed? Since becoming a mom in 2016 I was always encouraged to breastfeed. After doing my research I knew I wanted to give it a try. Unfortunately, for me breastfeeding was nothing but overwhelming, challenging and stressful. Even though I did my best I had to stop. Being able to physically feed my baby wasn’t possible for me. I tried silicone nipple shields to allow baby to latch but that only led to more issues than it was worth. I was so desperate and determined to do what was right for my baby that I pushed myself to pump exclusively. It worked for the first little bit til I started getting mastitis repeatedly that only caused more pain. At that point I didn’t know what to do but to stop. The journey I had invested into failed me drastically. I felt like a failure. I was ashamed I couldn’t. But I’m here to tell you it’s nothing to be shameful of. Not everyone can. Not everyone wants to. AND THATS OKAY! I applaud those who can breastfeed and I also applaud those ...

The Painful Truth

The Painful Truth Either you plan on breastfeeding, pumping or not be prepared for what the future holds for your breasts. With every postpartum journey I had I always experienced the same thing. What is that thing I speak of? Breast engorgement! The beautiful act of your breasts preparing to feed your little one, but for those who choose not to need to know what to do to stop the process. Some of the things I found to help was to use a suction pump (Hakka Pump) to decrease the pressure caused by engorgement. Expression of the milk can help relieve the pain. While this can be painful at first it lessens as you express. Doing this allows for you to give your baby the colostrum that’s beneficial to them at birth. Once you’ve expressed and decreased the engorgement, put cold cabbage leaves on your breasts. Some keep them in for a few minutes to a few hours. But for me I found keeping them in overnight helped tremendously. I would repeat this for the first few days after giving birth....

The unspoken truth about the epidural

The unspoken truth about the epidural An epidural is given to medically help with pain during labor. What many do not know is the epidural isn’t for everyone and not everyone can receive an epidural. Unfortunately, I was what we thought a good candidate for the epidural til things changed. During my first labor I tried getting the epidural. Little did I know the epidural was going to fail me leading me in more pain than the progressing contractions. Lets take a few steps back. At 38 weeks I went into labor. This was my first ever pregnancy and labor experience. Not knowing much of anything I went with what I was taught throughout my pregnancy. We called the doctor and were told to time the contractions. At the time it was hard to know if they were true contractions or just Braxton Hicks. However, something just didn’t feel right. Tracking the contractions only overwhelmed me more. We called the doctor again and explained how I was feeling, and they told us to come in to get evalu...

When is enough...enough?

When is enough...enough? As a child I was raised by my adopted parents who definitely showed their love for me. But as I grew up, understanding more and identifying my inner self I came to realize a lot was terribly wrong. The feeling of feeling like I was the child with many issues seemed to be an addition my parents couldn’t fix. From struggling with acceptance to dyslexia life was anything but easy. As time passed and I left home I started seeing my true identity, understanding my future was in my hands and what I chose was in my control. But for some reason what should be my control still seemed to be in my parent’s control. As a married woman, with 6 kids and no longer living under their roof isn’t it time for my parents to let go of the addiction of trying to fix the unfixable? Sometimes I wish they could truly understand the damage it’s causing but that seems too much to ask. As I keep reflecting back to the past it only seems to push my relationship away from them. The constant...

Anatomy scan?

Anatomy scan? What is an anatomy scan? An anatomy scan is a scan that happens between 18-22 weeks of pregnancy. This scan allows for doctors to see the anatomy of the fetus and to determine if there are any complications during baby’s development and placenta. For me the anatomy scan always concerns me because anything can pop up. I do not know any biological history due to being adopted so you can only imagine the anxiety I feel leading up to the scan. Thankfully we had another successful scan and baby is developing great.

20 Weeks with Preeclampsia

20 Weeks with Preeclampsia Preeclampsia is a pregnancy complication caused by high blood pressure. Preeclampsia can be diagnosed starting from 20 weeks, but in some cases can be diagnosed sooner. Preeclampsia can be serious putting mom and baby at risk to pregnancy complications. Some women may not feel the symptoms but normally you want to look for protein in the urine and make sure your blood pressure isn’t high. Normally a high blood pressure could be an indication that you could have preeclampsia. A sign I had was swelling in my ankles and feet, protein in my urine and my blood pressure would become high. But definitely speak with your OB or Midwife as some of the symptoms could just be pregnancy related. Preeclampsia can be managed but can’t be cured while you’re pregnant. There are oral and IV medications that can be given to help, but the only cure is to deliver baby. Unfortunately, when you are diagnosed earlier than 34+ weeks it’s a bit more of a challenge, but not...

Only the artist knows the hidden truth

Only the artist knows the hidden truth _____________________________________ I am an artist in many forms. From painting to photography I’m drawn to it all. Much of my art is formed by my childhood, emotions and the truth behind the hidden lies shared over the years. As an adoptive child who faced many challenges I was taught to bottle the truth and give people what they wanted to hear. At least it worked for sometime til I grew up and people caught on. I didn’t lie because I wanted to…I lied because it was my way of protecting myself from the unknown world. As I grew up and people were realizing my acts I turned to art to hide the truth without speaking the truth. It all started with a simple painting and grew into capturing only the smallest of details in photography. Being able to cover up the truth made me feel strong, in control and powerful. But it also took away from reality. My art was an escape, but didn’t last forever. It was only a temporary solution that only h...

It can happen to anyone!

It can happen to anyone ________________________________ Let’s discuss a touchy subject. But a subject that needs to be discussed. I know many who’s been victimized for this subject, and our family has been victimized of this too. This subject can destroy a family, and put children at risk. What is this subject I am referring to? I am speaking up on CPS. What is CPS you ask? CPS is Child Protective Services. CPS is usually contacted by an individual who believes your child or children are in danger, risk or being neglected. Unfortunately, anyone can report you to CPS, and it’s scary how easily it can be done. As teens we aren’t taught anything about CPS or the things about raising a child. We are taught how not to have sex, and if we have sex how to prevent pregnancy. But preventing pregnancy doesn’t always seem to work. My husband and I do what we can to prevent, but growing up they don’t tell you that even on birth control you can still get pregnant. Nothing is 100% unless yo...

Don’t let the world define how you parent.

Don’t let the world define how you parent. Don’t let the world tell you right from wrong! _________________________________________________ Today's been a day. Started off with the kids clogging the toilet to a major food fight among 5 kids. As I speak to them regarding their behavior two of them start wrestling with each other. At this point I’ve had enough of the talks, yelling and asked them to get up and put their shoes on. Imminently they stopped and cried “where we going?”…”’mom you can’t do this to us” as I just stood there waiting. Finally they got their shoes on and I escorted them outside in the pouring rain. Thankfully it’s 70ish outside (Perfect condition for a run in the rain). We finally got to the end of the driveway and I told them to run to the trash bins and back. They looked at me and said “we’re sorry please don’t make us” I explained that I am tired of the nonsense and told them they need to run their bad habits out. After rounds of back and forth I kept ...

The unspoken truth behind my childhood

The unspoken truth behind my childhood ______________________________________________ “To speak the truth you need to know the truth” My childhood was nothing but challenging. Being taken from my biological family to then being brought to an orphanage to then getting adopted a few years later wasn’t the worst of the challenges. Unfortunately that was just the beginning. My early years were filled with many unknowns that are still unknown to this day. Sure! I have my moments when I want to learn more and understand why everything I went through happened...but then there are those days where I do not want to know. I do not care to learn about my childhood past. I'm sure many adopted children, adults can relate to this feeling. However, since being adopted I've always felt like a failure. I would never fit into their life/family no matter how hard they tried to "fix" me. I was such a problem child that they needed to do "holding therapy" thinking that wo...

Surprises come in many forms

Surprises come in many forms _______________________________________ After a crazy 6th pregnancy, labor and delivery I knew we were done having babies. I was happy with my even number of kiddos. I had accepted that if I got pregnant again it could put me in harms way. Little did we know we had another baby cooking in the oven. After miscarrying a few weeks before with twins doctors discovered I was pregnant with a single baby. You must be feeling very confused on how I miscarried but was still pregnant. Well, you see this has happened once before and it's called Superfetation. It's when you get pregnant while already pregnant. Unfortunately, for us we had already miscarried the twins before the baby was detected. As sad as it is to loose a pregnancy I had to keep telling myself that my body was only protecting me. Since finding out about our pregnancy I've been facing some tough ordeals which have led me with a medical alert dog who helps me with my pregnancy symptoms. H...

The things we can't control

The things we can't control _____________________________________________ Dated: May 2021 3 years ago my daughter was brought to the ER after jumping on the couch and bitting nearly through her lip after falling. Due to how deep the bite was they needed to knock her out to give her stitches to close up the wound. My daughter showed toughness and strength that day. As for me it showed me how precious our children truly are. As a parent we never want to see our children in pain yet alone hurt. Sitting there not being able to help was the hardest thing I had to do. Watching them pin her down for an IV put me at the edge of my seat. Watching her motionless made me tear up as I was feeling her pain. The biggest thing I learned that day was we can not control everything and things happen so we can learn from them. From that day on my daughter has learned what can happen when jumping on the couch as hasn't since.

Superfetation, Pregnancy to Birth

An insane start * Note: This is from pregnancy number 6 * Superfetation! What is superfetation? - Superfetation is a rare event where you get pregnant a second time while already pregnant. _____________________________________________________________ Many who know me know I've had some crazy starts to my pregnancies. Either it's miscarrying, eptoc, having twins fade or superfetation. I've learned over the years that our bodies can only handle so much, and things happen to protect us. As hard as it is to loose a pregnancy/baby sometimes it's our body telling us something was wrong. I remember blaming myself whenever something went wrong in a pregnancy. I knew it wasn't my fault even though it felt as if it was. My sixth pregnancy I had gotten pregnant with what appeared to be one baby at the time. A few weeks later I went for a follow-up ultrasound for us to discover there was a new sac. The sac was measuring exactly two weeks behind the first sac. I reme...

It's okay to not be okay!

It's okay to not be okay! _______________________________________ Motherhood isn’t an easy job. We deal with so many unknowns and tough choices because our children can’t make the decisions themselves. When a child of ours is ill immediately you want to take it away without being able to. We push for answers and sometimes things are so unclear we take any answer given. But sometimes we don’t agree and keep pushing for more options. I had to fight with doctors on my son’s condition til the answer matched up with his diagnosis. As a mother we need to understand that it’s okay not to accept the first thing we hear. Sometimes us fighting allows for better outcomes. My son Wyatt needed an advocate and that’s what I did. His story opened the eyes that parenthood isn’t easy and we will be faced with scary challenges. But I learned through all of this that it’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to not know and it’s okay to fight for the right answers.

Staphylococcal Scalded Skin Syndrome (SSSS)